Still figuring it out, out loud.
Hi, I'm Patrick, glad you're here. This is a little bit of everything I'm working on.
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A bit about me
I started recording my reactions to books mostly as an escape, honestly, and a way to be creative without having to be someone I'm not. I always wanted to try being a creator, but faking a persona just to have content never sat right with me. Reading gave me a way in that actually felt like me. Now it's just something I look forward to.
Underneath all that, I think I'm mostly just looking for people who get it. People who've read the same book, or are into the same kind of things, or think about stuff the way I do. That's really what this is for me, a way to find that overlap with people I haven't met yet.
I also like teaching, which comes from a pretty different place. I've seen people who wanted a shot at the work I do but had no idea where to start, and having been there myself, I know what that path can actually look like now. Someone gave me a real opportunity when I needed one, and I'd like to pass a version of that along. I still work nights doing hands on VA and CRM work myself, so what I teach comes from doing it, not just reading about it.
Things I try to live by
Chase what makes you happy, fully.
Not halfway, not just when it's convenient. If something's worth doing, it's worth actually showing up for.
There's enough to go around.
Someone else doing well doesn't mean less for me. I'd rather see more people make it, not fewer.
I'd rather be honest than impressive.
If something didn't work, I'll just say so. I'm not trying to sound like I've got it all figured out.
Connection is kind of the whole point.
Everything else I do is really just an excuse to find people who get it too.
Writing
Writing's just another way for me to let something out, same as reading. Sometimes it's a full thought, sometimes it's just a few lines that showed up on their own and wouldn't leave me alone. Here are a few of my favorites.
Now readingNotification
From my waking hour I rise in anticipation, scrambling for my phone, checking for a notification. Seeing if you've messaged me, hi, hello, how are you? Perhaps a good morning, but you never do.
So I stare there waiting, maybe you're busy eating, maybe you're still sleeping. Every minute peeping for a message unlikely to be coming.
Alas hours have passed, and I swallow my pride. Pick up my phone and write. Hi! How are you? And quickly you respond, I didn't expect you to respond so quickly. So my mind starts to wonder, were you actually busy or were you also waiting for me? I smile at the thought, perhaps you were waiting for me.
Regardless, the conversation goes, it flows. Filled with laughter and heart emojis, the conversation goes, it flows, then it suddenly slows. For some reason it slows then stops ever so suddenly.
So I stare there waiting, maybe you're eating, maybe you're already sleeping. Every minute I peep, until I too finally fall asleep.
Then morning comes, I awake and rise in anticipation, phone in hand, I check for a notification. But still no hi, hello, not even a reply. Nothing's changed. It's as if time stood still even as it flew by.
So again I stare there waiting. Only this time doubt starts creeping. She's clearly not interested so what am I doing? Yet stubbornly, I keep going.
Eventually I seemingly forgo my doubts, I swallow my pride. I pick up the phone and write. Hi! How are you? Again, quickly you respond, Still, I didn't expect you to respond so quickly. I yet again wonder, were you waiting for me? No, why would you be?
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